with a panic switch

I'VE GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AIN'T ONE.

2010-08-21T14:53:00.004+08:00

take a damn look around you. look at the ones you're affecting around you. all these taking advantage of, using, leeching onto others... fucking hell go change your damn self la fucking please. yes, like fucking please. and you think the talk that you talk a lot makes hell lot of sense? think again, dumbfuck. bet you don't even know what the fuck does "macam yes" mean. irresponsible and immature actions from you asses, don't you have a damn sense of consideration and to compromise? if you think you've entered manhood? hell yea for the love of god you better fucking think again. if you know about face lift, go ask for one, pricks. and to those who think they know enough to live their own life, your mom already has a lot on her plate to take care of, so suit your damn self.

you're just fags who think you have facts.

STRAWBERRY SWING.

2010-08-11T00:06:00.004+08:00

so many bewildered faces,

so many untamed voices.

watching every single step,

waiting for the moment to be stabbed.

the anticipation for another encore,

then comes with the anticipation for another uproar.

will i find you sitting on that strawberry swing again?

that's the one place we both know.

just another stroll down the same lane,

just another trip, and we'll fall down into the hole.

one thing's for sure,

you'll be the poison, you'll be the cure.

7.

2010-08-02T23:47:00.004+08:00

i'll watch over you, when i'm gone.

IF TODAY WAS YOUR LAST DAY.

2010-07-30T01:47:00.003+08:00

today.will.be.the.last.day.of.work.

get.letter.get.pay.then.can.sleep.sleep.sleep.

but.back.to.college.next.week.sien.

A MODERN MYTH.

2010-07-26T02:06:00.002+08:00

did we create a modern myth?

did we imagine half of it?

would happen in a thought from now,

save yourself, save yourself.

the secret is out.

to buy the truth and sell a lie,

the last mistake before you die.

so don't forget to breathe tonight,

tonight's the last to say goodbye.

goodbye.

CAMPEONESSS!

2010-07-22T20:40:00.009+08:00

a spaniard from the start. euro 08 winners in austria-switzerland, now world champions in south afrikahhh!

when the tournament started, everyone was like "schweinsteiger damn imba wei", "germany ftw!", "mehh siii!", "holland damn geng got sneijder".. and a whole lot of other bullcrap. screw those, spain's damn imba ftw geng!

oh, and paul you're just so damn awesome.

the finals were between the oranje and the matadors... with fabregas again, on the bench -.- wtfknsccb..!..

it was a pretty rough game, with 13 yellow cards and a red. could've been worse though.

karate kid kungfu panda wtf. ouch*

WAKA WAKA WAKA WAKA WAKA WAKA THIS TIME FOR AFRIKAHHH!

back in madrid...

holysht.

zzz... stupid barca.

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

2010-07-14T01:44:00.006+08:00

It's the elephant in the room,
And we pretend that we don't see it.
It's the avalanche that looms above our heads,
And we don't believe it.
Tryin' to be perfect,
Tryin' not to let you down...
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...
While the floors underneath our feet are crumbling,
The walls we built together tumblin',
I still stand here holdin' up the roof,
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

A HEART THAT HURTS, IS A HEART THAT WORKS.

2010-06-13T01:48:00.001+08:00

there's only so much a person can do to a certain extent. after all, we're only human. nobody's perfect. if we were to combine flawless bits and parts of people together, we'd be somewhat.. humanoid. nothing rare or genuine.

but trying to be genuine was harder than it seemed, and somehow i got caught up in between. it just wasn't good enough, wasn't it. as a matter of fact, maybe not even enough. if so, i apologize if the dish laid out lack that few important ingredients and spices, and "substances" for that matter. wonders can be seen through the human eye. but greatness or disappointment can only be determined by one's choice of what's to be sighted.

wave after wave of drastic changes to and fro, things aren't getting any easier. but some pricks just can't keep their dicks where it's supposed to be. nosing around causing all sorts of mayhem and bullshits, a prick who can't deal with his own shits wants to interfere with mine. i'll tell you what prick, why not you go suck your own cock for a change? oh wait, how do you suck your whole self? i'm sorry you figure that out, prick.

"in the memory you'll find me, eyes burning up.

the darkness holding me tightly, until the sun rises up."

HER MAYDAY BIRTHDAY.

2010-06-06T13:08:00.008+08:00

woots..

another year. another round up of friends. another surprise. another celebration...

i'm sorry if things didn't turn out like how you imagined to be but hope it all made your special day an extraordinary and blessed one.

happy belated birthday baby girl! love you.

I'LL RISE TO FALL AGAIN.

2010-05-14T16:06:00.003+08:00

Breaking Benjamin - Give Me A Sign

Breaking Benjamin - Dear Agony

Safety Suit - Stay

The Fray - Syndicate

Tokio Hotel - Strange

Hawthorne Heights - Rescue Me

Jimmy Eat World - Dizzy

PAINTING THE TOWN BLUE.

2010-05-10T17:24:00.004+08:00

it all had to go down to the final game of the season, yeap and guessed who won? haha.

chelsea and utd were playing their respective games broadcasted on 2 different channels. i intended to switch to both channels back and forth to have an update on both scores but i didn't have to, cause one channel itself already splits its screen to update itself every time either team scores, and it all happens simultaneously.

the goals just keep coming. it was 2-0 | 2-0, then 3-0 | 3-0, then from then on, the blues were rampant!

8-0 was the final score. chelsea were the eventual champions, ending utd's 3 season title, which i was so effing thrilled about.

8 goals. hattrick for drogba. the title. the golden boot. good job chelsea.

SOMEONE LIKE YOU.

2010-05-09T21:35:00.003+08:00

irreplaceable as you are. you've done all and more than you could for me. and i really do thank you for everything. you just mean so much more to me than you know it, you're my everything.

i could not ask for more.

happy ma's day. ily mom.

SIP AFTER SIP, YOU INSIST YOU'RE A HIT.

2010-04-26T02:03:00.006+08:00

this curtain, now so torn and ragged and so to say fucked up, needs to be mended up before it can be put up for all to see once again. when first bought, the fabric might just be like a damn rag to many. but to me, by just stroking the surface, i could feel as if i was stroking the tip of my fingers through tall and tender open field grass. simply just mesmerizing to me.

but with this curtain, so critically punctured and pierced with holes now, all i'm trying to do is mend, weave and patch them up neatly, in the best possible way i can. i'm sorry i ain't perfect in this but all i wanted was sufficient thread from you to weave everything into place. and you know it's gonna take more than that few inches long thread of yours, cause sooner or later, we're gonna run out of thread to patch up those holes.

truth is, i've never asked for the specific or right fabric material, cause i could deal with whatever fabric that comes may, for sure making it to good use. i really do treasure the old ragged one i have now that i want it mended and hope it still can be used overtime. what i've got now is the needle and one end of a thread attached, all that's needed left is you on the other. will you?

NOT SO AWESOME FOURSOME.

2010-04-12T14:48:00.003+08:00

a week of heart-piercing 4's.

first, i've already extracted all 4 teeth required for my braces on wednesday. can't wait for the pleasuring pain. -.-

then, messi 4 - arsenal 1. the messiah sent us home packing with 4 stunning goals, a hattrick in the first half. so, the wait goes on...

and... roadblocks... they just love me so much that they gotta stop me blardy 3 times a week. oh yea 'bang, keep it coming, keep it coming. make a 4th la godammit...

GO GET YOUR SHOVEL, AND WE'LL DIG A DEEP HOLE.

2010-03-26T12:54:00.020+08:00

last weekend, my family weirdly made a short trip to penang. i was so reluctant cause of the rusting assignments and shits. but cause i didn't join them there for cny, i terpaksa go this time. -.-

my bro is damn...

...mou liu

okay fine, i admit what got me to go was the so the orgasmic char koay teow and char hor fun there. damn, so in the zone man! and we went to the famous ckt stall along lorong selamat, in case you don't know it's the one that gives the big ass prawns. drool 99 wey...

hands down...

and of course, we went to the infamous contaminated beach there. had a little picnic, and some pretty crazy crab hunting. my uncle's got chunted tactics man...

dem folks

see what i mean by contaminated...

likesomemafkinengineerdamnprolikethat *ysy's line :P

the first of many...

throughout the whole crab hunting, we caught about 8... and killed 2. lol. bro's container squashed the crab into 2. like seriously, 4 legs from one side gone, left the other half for dead. total gg-ness. not to mention the bigger ones cannibaling the smaller ones in the container. double gg-ness!

i'm falling to pieeeeccceeesssss...........

gg.com

and some fcktard faces on the way home...

i miss my charkoaydiaooooo ar ccb! :(

NO CESC, NO STRESS.

2010-03-12T19:32:00.007+08:00

from a performance over the weekend that made us wanna shove our middle fingers up his ass, to producing a stunning hat-trick that made us regret for not putting our money on it. nicklas bendtner just made headlines for every newspaper possible.

even with our very much influential spaniard, cesc fabregas, out of contention against porto, arsenal were still able kill off the portuguese champions with man-of-the-match performances by nick bendtner and samir nasri. 5 fuckingly awesome goals just demolished them completely.

and yea, madrid dropped out for the 6th consecutive year, leaving that cocky mother fucker in tears.

now, run along home throwing your sore loser tantrums you prick...

and to aaron ramsey, from that horrifyingly nasty injury you got, wishing you all the best with your long road back to playing.

=/ god bless you mate...

I'LL BE HERE IN THE MORNING IF YOU SAY STAY TO ME.

2010-03-07T03:52:00.007+08:00

being the dumbshit peacock right now, instead of blossoming those tail feathers, i'm just showing my fugly behind of mine. or maybe that's just what i have to offer.

for shit so hate me that it happens to me time and time again, and it beats the crap out of me cause it only piles up overtime.

i've got too much in my clouded mind to think of that i might literally cause a thunderstorm around. i'm losing my game face, i'm losing my grip, i'm losing it.

i know you've heard it all before, but if everything were to be like 'the scientist', you know i'd go back to the start for you.

maybe planet earth has been turning too fast for me that i need another rotation to be on the same page.

what can i do to make you say 'come back to me'?

dear God, guide me through this. i beg of you.

LIKE SOMEONE TO SAVE YOU.

2010-03-01T22:10:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wish i could save you

and there's so many things that i want you to know

i won't give up till it's over

if it takes you forever i want you to know

hang in there, m.

I'M WEIRD CAUSE I HATE GOODBYES.

2010-02-26T13:22:00.002+08:00

why'd you have to go again you son of a bitch?! sigh take care there man.

felix saw, you're jinx-ing the song idiot!

I CAN'T SLEEP IN THE WAKE OF SATURDAY.

2010-02-14T04:15:00.004+08:00

for the first time, the low family decided to have 团圆饭 / reunion dinner at my place. which got my parents all jumpy and gan jiong and making a hell lot of fussing about it. but, whatevs man, dinner was fucking awesome! :D

shitty thing is, some cousins and relatives aren't around, and the cousins that are around are going back to ipoh on 初一. wtf wey... down-ness... well aside from that letdown, we'll see what happens in the morning / pay day. haha.

have a roaring chinese new year folks! 农历新年快乐! cheers mates!

hvd & hcny to you dearest one. and sorry for the busyness and kelam-kabutness. thanks so much for the brief but cherishable moments and crats. haha truly appreciated it. ily.

WHATAYA WANT FROM ME.

2010-02-11T04:15:00.003+08:00

karma's turning around and biting me in the ass.

what is it that i've done? or what i've not done for that matter?

i feel that the heartless wind is blowing, again.

and it's chosen to blow during this period, as if it's a seasonal thing.

yes, i know i haven't been giving the right treatment that should be given.

to top that, i haven't been able to turn your expectations to reality.

it's like the lines between expectations and reality are just too parallel at the moment.

guess i haven't been able to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart once more.

KIDS.

2010-01-31T21:36:00.004+08:00

last night, our family went for a dinner gathering at the quek's, so did the chuas. it's been a year since we had our last gathering. all of us : winnie, ellen, mark, james, sarah, audrey, rachel, my siblings and i go way back to since god knows when. good times, good times.

it was a good catch up with the lot. great to see how some of us grew/changed since we last met. damn, i could still remember how we used to play around at the quek's. whether it's catching around the condo area, swimming in their pool, or sometimes even duck duck goose... while the adults have their usual mahjong nights. lol... damn... those were the days.

the chuas, the queks and the lows + lyon.

the quek's introduced a new game for everyone yesterday, banana peel! it's sorta like scrabble, but it's not. lol. and aunty kathy, the enthusiastic one, was hell good in the game man. making our english seem so amateur, well mine at least. paiseh...

all in all we had a great reunion, good timing too cause everyone's back from aussie. we should make another after cny!

AND THE HEARTLESS WIND KEPT BLOWING.

2010-01-21T18:04:00.003+08:00

when it's getting hard to say hello when you're a million miles too close.

when unforgettable moments turn to solitary ones.

when never ending contemplations wouldn't die.

when forceful laughs wouldn't break the silence.

when it's like a paranoid looking over my back.

when nothing could ever be so wrong.

when two couldn't be better than one anymore.

when what was supposedly my warm arms wrapped around you, just chilled you to the bone.

when it happens time, time, time again.

i gotta wake up from this state of mind, cause this situation is a staying kind. well are you screaming, are you screaming cause it's such a nightmare now.

the pace of everything hitting all at once is just like a little drizzle turning into a penetratively heavy downpour in split seconds, crashing down on you like it's got nothing to lose.

i can't be sorry enough for popping the red balloon that you were so reluctant to let me hold on to. and i know replacing it with a blue one won't do a load of shit in making it up to you. everyone around us got crying to the loud explosive sound the balloon made i could only stop and stare, being helpless, whilst others tried mending your red balloon. in the end, i wasn't the one who was able to give you a new red one either.

i'm sorry for not opening the door you left unlocked for me. i'm sorry for the faces that stayed the same. i'm sorry for the senseless and immature behaviours that struck you for all the wrong reasons. i'm sorry for not saying what's needed to be spilled out. i'm sorry for not being ready when you were.

i know this heartless word just seems to be another extenuation to you. but i'm dying to make real moments real instead of make believe.

i'm sorry...

LIKE SOLDIERS, MARCH ON.

2010-01-18T21:41:00.004+08:00

you wake up every morning feeling like p.diddy, then one day, you don't.

some things we don't talk about, rather just do without and just hold a smile.

but what happens when everything you hoped for to come later than sooner, came way, way sooner ? like a rush of blood to your head?

being traced and tracked down like a goddamn fugitive, it's not what anyone really asked for. being victimized for something evidently innocent of.

with every step that you take, paints a canvas, instead of a sketch, making everything prohibited from being erased and altered.

well, nobody said it was easy. but no one ever said it would be this fucking hard.

maybe we're just caught within a beautiful disaster.

THIS IS THRILLER, THRILLER NIGHT.

2010-01-10T13:03:00.004+08:00

i just played l4d2 for the 1st time the other day. moreover, l4d for that matter. something like avp (alienvspredator) to me. and damn, i bloody suck in it. got raped up down left right.

didn't know the infected were so damn taufu... before my boomer could even puke any shit out i'm dead d. -.- the only one i felt easier to use was the smoker, can keep making out with people. damn on. haha.

p.s. sawliptat, you can laugh at the blackie now. lol......

I NEED LIGHT IN THE DARK AS I SEARCH FOR THE RESOLUTION.

2010-01-05T21:16:00.004+08:00

2010 - some predicted to be the end of the world. lol cheh. // year of uncertainties.

the number 10 - has always been my favourite and superstitious number for years.

since last year i've been betting on this year to be 'my' year. the year i break out of my 'shell', if you would like to call it. pure bullshit, i know.

i'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as i go nowhere. even foreseeing uncertainties and the unexpected soon-to-be clouding up this 2010, i'm so gonna own this year. with some cliche resolutions, i know i'm gonna make it all mine.

maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year.

SOPHOMORE SLUMP OR COMEBACK OF THE YEAR

2009-12-29T21:29:00.004+08:00

i've become what a mother wouldn't want in a son, a total disgrace, an embarrassment, a total letdown. just like a raisin stuck between your teeth, total rubbish.

all the high hopes and expectations i had then illuded me with false and failing ones. with that, you realised all the things you've done for the past 730 days amounts to nothing in the end. so far i haven't been able to create anything out of might have beens. i'm starting to think, could i be unfit for this shit? or is it that i've been 'scoring my goals' at a totally different perspective all the while, not setting my priorities straight. and just being rather obstinate all the while, whilst letting my personal life interfere with what's really at stake.

when it all amounts to nothing in the end.

here i rest, with dissapointment and regret. though glimpses of hope surfaced for a few moments, still, overall, not even enough for a turnaround.

REMEMBER DECEMBER

2009-12-26T12:42:00.006+08:00

i somehow think of this year's christmas to be a real snowy one, compared to all the years before. screw the fella at denmark right now. hmph. damn i've been dying to feel real snow, to be in a winter country during christmas...

like north london...

god, football under snow is hell awesome...

okay fine, back to reality. so to be family oriented and all during christmas, i went to church with my family yesterday. yes, i went to church.

it wasn't bad, we went for the 2nd service and it was kinda cool, more suitable for younger folks like us teens i guess. and i found another purpose for going to church, if you know what i mean. ha...

well i'm not trying to be pessimistic here, but i have always predicted the father nagging drama all during family outings and such. and yea it happened. seriously, yesterday was so overshadowed by all the complains and nagging from even the most insignificant of issues. i'm not gonna go any further into it, but it was really killing everyone's mood.

and now, presents. lol...

surprisingly, mom got us presents this year. hah... and, they're super random... not that i'm

complaining, it's just that they're so unexpected and unthinkable. haha.

mini cocacola cup with a cheque. lol.

my mom wanted to surprise us with the cheque, but she put it together with the cup inside. lol FAIL! haha anyhow pat on the back for my mom. haha...

a very merry christmas...

die........ you gross me out!

and a happy new year from mercury the gecko.

CARS ON CROSSROADS, THEY COME AND GO LIKE YOU.

2009-12-19T14:06:00.004+08:00

it wasn't lust, never was.

it was all just a mazed mind game you wanted me to 'dwell' in with no way out.

leaving paths undisclosed, undivulged, unrevealed, unknown...

untold...

and when that old sweet disposition confronted me once more, i thought it would be the turning point of it all. instead, it was just history repeating itself.

karma or not, it was just a fucking lie to me.

well it's all so explicit now. it has always, and forever will remain that way.

you should've known better. you just don't know it.

ALL THE BULLSHIT YOU PUT ME THROUGH

2009-12-15T21:50:00.005+08:00

work has been a bitch, that's for damn sure. maybe it's just too early to start bull-ing about it. hope i'll get some juice out of this gddamn lemon for the coming days.

*ignore the post below if you think football's for homos. (ahhem.. jason.. ahhem)

now, a post for Liverfool, tsktsk... even the commentator said: "even 3 reinas couldn't have stopped that shot!" i have to say, he wasn't exaggerating at all.

you just got shushed, again!

p.s. do expect more of 'homos' in my blog gaylish boy. hahas...

NUMERO UNO

2009-12-13T21:26:00.001+08:00

after much thought and the evergrowing and cummulating urge to start my very own blog. i finally did. so yea...

cause for the delays were pickiness for a blog layout. i didn't wanna use the given ones at all, and just for that i didn't start a bloody blog, as i dunno a shit or 2 about photoshop. damn lame excuse huh? well in the end i just grabbed a layout online.

well whatevs la, might change it next time. credits to jason and su for helping out.

anyhow this is just a test post. post for events and stuff will be posted later on. and internship starts tomorrow. sighness....

ciao.